Kerfuffle

KERFUFFLE noun

British Informal

A commotion or fuss, especially one caused by conflicting views;

There was a kerfuffle over just who could yell the loudest while mom was trying to rest.

I got next to no sleep last night. I had coffee far too late in the evening, then stayed up watching lawyer dramas until 1:00 AM. At three in the morning I woke up to a somewhat urgent issue with our sump in the basement, which Geekster and I spent about an hour fixing. I managed to fall back asleep at 5:00, but was woken up at 7:00 by a four-year-old demanding cereal and juice.

Naturally, an unrested mom is cause for a great deal of chaos the following day; it's some kind of sick universal law that plagues me each and every time I don't get enough sleep. Either that, or I take things far too seriously when I can barely keep my eyes open. But I'm pretty sure it's the former. Life is out to get me. I'm attractive, and it hates me for it. 

Thankfully, Life's loathing of yours truly has been decently spread throughout this past week instead of being entirely centred on one day. This was thoughtful of Life, making sure I get a slap or two each day rather than a full-blown, drag-out pummelling on Thursday. And speaking of fights - or kerfuffles - there have been many. When they're tired, bored, anxious, angry or hungry, The Gremlins Three have a propensity for battling it out. They'll seize each and every opportunity to yell, threaten, demand, hurt or take away from another sibling. This sport will surely become olympic-bound at some point, but for now it's regularly practiced and perfected in my very own living room. 

Why they couldn't have picked up a gentler pass time - like hockey, or rugby - is beyond me. 

People don't always understand why I'm not a big fan of March Break. They can't relate to the sheer dread that washes over me when I can no longer ignore the impending black cloud about to descend on my home. I'm quite sure there are Facebook groups and web boards out there with the sole purpose of Maven-bashing. They probably have names like "Click 'like' if you think The Maven is an unfit mother" and "Moms who love their kids and want to do a bit of Maven trashing."

That's fine. You can look down on me if you'd like.  Everyone needs a hobby. But the way I see it, if you don't get where I'm coming from, there are only a few reasons:

1. You have never spent a good deal of time around my children.

2. You have no children, but have this dreamy idea that if you did, you would love to have your perfect little creations at home with you for a week. Dreams are nice, aren't they?

3. You have perfect little creations who never get bored and or start a kerfuffle. I somehow find this hard to believe, but let's assume about 1.7% of people do. Miracles do happen.

4. You've found a legal way to sedate your not-so-perfect creations during school holidays, making March Break nothing more than a long stream of sleeping in and iCarly reruns. I salute you.

5. You don't know about this thing called "winter" that us Canadians face. Early March is not about daffodils and returning songbirds up here, folks. It's about snowstorms and frostbite. We are either homebound or we spend a great deal of money we don't have taking them bowling every freaking day.  

6. You do some really amazing drugs. I can't do drugs for a few reasons, and am therefore slightly envious of your psychological escapism.

7. You think you have children, but they are in fact very real-looking dolls. You are somewhat insane, and push them around in a carriage, cooing softly, and telling everyone on the street how your babies sleep through the night. And I kind of envy your crazy, I really do.

So you keep judging and rocking those "babies". I'll throw on my striped shirt, grab my whistle, and try to break up as much of the kerfuffling going on over here as I can manage.

Incidentally, "kerfuffling" isn't a word, but it really should be. We should have a Facebook group about that.